My Creative Ways for Paying for College

Yep…I’m in a panic right now.  My last child (I have 2 others in RI College right now) is going to graduate from High School next year, and we are doing the campus tour thing, the scholarship search, the essay writing, the SATs and the ACTs, the application process “cough”, “cough”!  I can’t stand it.  My head is spinning! The deadlines and the tuition costs…are you serious????  You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Anyway, this whole stressful process has lead me to try and find  “creative”  (and also “quick”) ways to pay for the steep tuitions for some of these colleges…and this is what I came up with…

1. I will come up with a song and perform it with either Pitbull or Eminem (doesn’t matter) and the song will probably be nonsense but it will have a great beat and include the phrases, “Put your hands up in the air”, “Drop it to the floor”, or “In the club” .  It will be an instant hit and I can reap the instant benefits.  Cha-ching…next…

2. I will start my own reality show and I will share with everyone my sweet, mean and maybe even my sexy side.  I will then go on free trips to Hawaii , the Bahamas, The Grand Canyon (“cough”..again ) wherever, just to have an interesting show ( and so you can see me in my bathing suit) and whine about the smallest thing.  Since we are really kind of boring, we’ll have to come up with some really cool adventures.  Maybe I’ll get pregnant again and have 9 kids at once…wait..I can’t…I forgot I had a partial hysterectomy.  Okay…okay, I’ll adopt 9 kids…whatever.  cha-ching…Next…

3. Maybe I’ll get my 3 kids to do a show called “Teens in Tiaras”  Well, maybe not my son, although this could prove to be interesting.  I can be pushy and nag and drag these kids all over creation and make  them “work it!”.  Oh boy, the trophy’s I’ll have.  And I’ll be on Oprah, or Dr. Drew 😦 cha..cha..ching …next…

4. I will try and come up with an original cute, catchy song about  a day of the week that I love…like Wednesday.  Yes, I will call it “Wacky Wednesday”, and I will have a cheap video to go along with it, but who cares, after I do this and put it on “You Tube”, I will  have millions of views and be very popular, HaHaHa!!!.  I will then again reap the benefits for every show I appear on after this…even though everyone will probably think  I am “wacky”.  Double cha-ching…next…

5.  I will start my own fashion line.  (I really can’t think beyond sneakers and jeans though)…

6.  I will start my own fragrance line. (I was thinking something like…Donut shop smells.  They are really popular right?  I know guys would go crazy over this!  cha-chingaling… And last…

7.  If all else fails, I will grab my grandparents, or someone else’s, and have them play with my webcam and act innocent and cute, look at their wrinkles and laugh… and again…get millions of views after I put it on “You Tube”.  Then, I will see you on Leno’s show because they were “my” grandparents after all, thank you very much.  Cha-ching…cha-ching.  I can hear it…do you hear it????  Money for college.

Wait a minute…what is that commotion in my sons room?  Let me check…………………………………………………Oh for goodness sake, he’s  recording himself lip synching to songs again on the computer and acting all weird.  What does he think is going to happen by doing that anyway…geesh!

Anyway, I’ve got some dreams to pursue and money to make.  Wish me well!

Kelsey….you’re going to Harvard!!!  cha-ching!!!!!    😉


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