Today Was A Tough One

Today, it was exactly a week ago that my pup, Maxi passed away.  I was home by myself , which is a rarity.  I had time to think and reminisce and…clean up.  To put away the little things, the last remembrances of him. It was not easy.

First,  I took his box of goodies from under the  counter (assorted half-chewed bones, balls, his leash and muzzle) and cleaned it out.  He used to paw at this box when he wanted to entertain himself or want a bone of some sort, even until about the last day, he  still wanted a bone from that box!  I threw out all the disgusting bones and kept the last things I remember him playing with.  The bone he had half hanging out of his mouth like a cigarette:)…always makes me smile. I kept that.  The brushes he loved the girls brushing him with when he had a skin condition that kept him scratching constantly-I kept those too.

Then there was his dog dish…that was tough.  I cleaned it out one last time and dusted it off, filled the bowl on one side with water to see it one last time (silly!), and since it was too big to put in his box, I figured I would  just bag it all together.  I cannot throw out the dish.

Then – the  side yard.  The fenced off section for him to “go” in.  I raked it all clean, and pulled out every weed and overgrown blade of grass and after that, I lay down grass seed…everywhere.  He had killed every living blade of grass in that area (except for the weeds, of course. they live through everything) Even though I felt like this was the last step, I had  thought how neat it would be to see green grass growing there again.

That was that.  It was all done.

I just have the crate in the basement that he loved and slept in every night.   When I opened it’s door every morning,  he would be quivering with excitement to just eat,  and I would hold the door and  say, “Ready, set,…go!”  He’d scamper so fast up those basement steps just to get his breakfast that was waiting for him.

Also, I had ordered a stone last night online with a pawprint, his name, and dates, and I will place it on the side yard where he frequented, only now in the Spring, instead of dead branches and brown blades, it will have flowers and be  “pea”  green!!!  And I will think of him.

I will put together a book about how he first came to us, a picture book with his photos, and I will have a photo on our table sitting among the kids portraits from school, and he will have his stone in the garden.

Then…I think maybe, then…I can start leaving this all behind me and just go on.  He was a big part of our lives and grew up with the kids, he was a big part of their childhood.  He will always be remembered.

Maxi walking away with hawaiian flowers on his neck and chew toy

The gentleman



4 comments on “Today Was A Tough One

  1. thypolarlife says:

    Awww. I am so sorry for your loss and it truly breaks my heart. We are a dog loving family so my heart goes out to you.

  2. Thank you so much! 🙂 I know there are many pet lovers that feel the same way. So sad.

  3. anniespickns says:

    Creating a picture book is a beautiful process in remembering and letting go. I’ve found it very healing. I hope it eases some of the pain of loss that you are feeling.

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