My daughter Caitlin is graduating from LaSalle Academy on Thursday and I still can’t believe it. Those 4 years just flew on by. What happened??? Was I even here???
So much has happened in these past 4 years, all a big blur. What happens to us??? We become so busy with life and the schedules that sometimes we don’t even realize that life is happening right now. All soon to be a memory. And we always have regrets. We should have been involved more. We should have spent more time…we should have planned better, etc etc. But we’re not perfect, and so we make mistakes. We try to do better, and sometimes it just gets away from us. Oh well…
I have been taking my kids back and forth for almost 4 years to high school in the morning and picking up in the afternoon. These past 2 years it has just been my 2 daughters. Kelsey is a sophomore. Every day may have seemed like a chore fighting the back roads and nutty people on our way to the school, but we have had some fun times and many laughs just having the drives back and forth. I get to know my daughters better and better just discussing daily happenings and events.
Everyday as we drove in, the two of my girls would judge how late we were by the part of town they saw the regular walkers at. For instance, if Longhorn (the name they gave this person,yes, they all have names they gave them), was at the bottom of the hill when we passed by, we were safe…we were early. On the other hand, if she had made it all the way up the hill and down the street a ways by the time we passed her, we were cutting it close…and kind of late. So funny.
Then there were the time they saw the same man on the sidewalk in the same clothes and smoking a cigarette, obviously homeless. The girls would feel so bad. Or the time we laughed when the stray dog walked by and walked across the crosswalk, but “didn’t look both ways” as I stated. He just went on his merry way like he was on a mission.
We sang songs together while bee- bopping to the music-always their music,never mine (the oldies). I learned to like and listen to their music. I knew all the songs and artists almost by heart. I didn’t even realize the impact these songs would have on me until my daughter received a cd the other day as part of her graduation packet. It contained many songs that had significant meanings to the class, and when she played this one song for me, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a mix of all the songs I remember us enjoying so much on our rides to and from school! The song played out like a video in my mind. I could picture my daughter standing in the middle of all this swirling mass of memories, flashing overhead as each song played.
All the dances, all the proms, SAT’s,friends,sad moments, happy moments,everything all rolled in to one. I suddenly felt really sad. My social butterfly was graduating-all grown up. I knew I was going to miss the rides in with her. Those times were so ordinary, but fun. It was quality time and I didn’t even realize it. I’ll never forget it. I just know now, I still have Kelsey to give rides to…for a time. But I will realize now, it’s temporary, and I will enjoy every moment.
Caitlin graduates Thursday and I am both saddened and happy. These songs play on in my mind and I get a headache trying to stop from crying every time I hear them. it’s all about the small stuff, simple stuff. That’s why I headed this post with John Lennon’s quote. It is perfect. Remember it. I will.
This is the song remix on Caitlin’s cd. Enjoy!