I Want To Go Back

The Time To Be Happy Is Now

Sometimes the world seems like such a stressed-out place to be, that I wish I could go back in time and be a child all over again.

I want to go back… back to when I was about 5 years old  and living at home.

The feeling of being safe and free from worry.

Thinking back…

back…

back… I can see myself running outside in the crisp,cool air.

I was always outside.

Being small, energetic and young, I can play outside all day and not even tire.

I’m running,  always running.  Out toward the wide open space of the field that is behind my house.

It is early fall, and most likely at dusk.  My cheeks are cold, my nose is cold, but it feels good.

I stop for just a moment and listen… I hear the crows.  I smell the damp earth.  My toes tingle.

Looking back at my house in the distance,  I can see that the light is on in my warm kitchen.

Mom is probably at the sink as supper is being prepared.

What will it be?  A roast perhaps, gravy…and mashed potatoes.  There’s always potatoes.

I feel warm inside.

My family will be there when I get back. Mom, dad ,grandma, my older sister, and 3 younger brothers.

The house will be warm and safe.

But for now, I’m out in all this space by myself ,  yet  somehow, I don’t feel alone.

I couldn’t be with all this beauty.  So much to investigate…rocks, leaves, mud.

I have no schedule.  I don’t care about the time.

I just have to wait for the streetlight to come on, and then I’ll  go home to eat supper.

I’ll be fed and have a warm bath.

I’ll sit by grandma on the couch watching tv and lean on her warm, smooth arm.  I may even fall asleep there.

Someone will pick me up and put me to bed.  Is it dad?  Is it Mom?  I don’t care.

I’ll be tucked in and have my doll with me.

Someone will kiss me and turn off the light.

Then I’ll be in total darkness, but I won’t feel afraid.

I’m free,   I’m loved and I am safe.  That’s all that matters.

Yes, take me back!

I’d give anything  to go back in time and be a child all over again.

Just to experience the freedom from worry again .  The way we were excited in the little things.

To watch the world go by….

I thought it would last forever.

Silly me. 🙂

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