Here is another journal entry I wrote after my mother passed away. This was written because of the depressing feeling I had when my sister and I had to get rid of my mother’s things in her closet one day. My father could not bear to do it. This was very hard, and it is something that has to be done, but no one really ever talks about it. To me, it felt like I was wiping out the rest of an existence. So sad.
This is titled “Abandoned”
Your clothes are still hanging in your closet, untouched, just as you left them.
Worn on trips, to restaurants or just everyday.
They’re just hanging in the darkness, until they’re put away.
Sweatshirts with names of places visited,
With bright colors , or cute animals and unique designs, that all say something about you.
Your evening dress up shoes and assorted flats are strewn about the closet floor.
Waiting to see another day of summer sun, the beach perhaps, or just a walk – but no more.
The quilted bag you proudly carried around with you everywhere, containing all your treasures and trinkets…your valued photo album…
It’s just lying there empty on a chair.
Poetry books sit on dusty shelves waiting to be read again.
The music you loved so much- the many tape cassettes, are all in piles where you left them in a cupboard.
They were once played to visitors who walked in the door to greet you, but will never be played as they used to…anymore.
Your Santa collection sits in the attic now…collecting dust.
The pretty cat waits for your gentle touch, your comfortable lap.
His eyes seem to ask, “What’s wrong?”
The many poems that won’t be written. The stories that won’t be read to a grandchild.
The birthdays and special days that won’t be shared.
No more little gifts from you that say, “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you”.
How I wishI could hear your voice on the phone again, late at night, after a visit with you.
“Just wanted to know if you made it home, alright. Love you, too! Goodnight!”
Everything you owned says something about you, but now they all seem so lost – abandoned somehow – even us.
Now all these things have a secure place in my memory… and my heart… and on this paper,
To stay forever,
Never to be abandoned ,again! 🙂